13 Nov 12

Anyone who doesn’t believe in “immaculate conception,” need only visit a typical high school. He’ll quickly discover such “miracles” are evidently happening on a daily basis!

Likewise, a friend is involved in litigation surrounding a person who holstered his Glock pistol, and, as the pistol sat innocently there in his holster, untouched by human hands, it spontaneously discharged a few seconds later. A miracle indeed!

In the industry, we refer to such “miracles” as “immaculate discharges,” and, as with pregnant teenage virgins, we are asked to believe that it happens all the time, so often in fact, it can hardly be called an abnormality!

Accordingly, many plaintiff lawyers are apparently convinced that “the Hand of God” is thus continuously at work among those of us who use and carry guns. God whimsically causes pistols to spontaneously discharge, all by themselves, for no apparent reason other than His own entertainment, and perhaps to provide billable-hours for erstwhile unemployed lawyers!

Okay, enough sarcasm, and my sincere apologies to those sensitive to my occasional sacrilege!

In an age of institutionalized pretense, an age where we are supposed to tolerate, even entertain, every manner of nonsensical hogwash, instead of laughing it out of court, as it deserves, such preposterous contentions are sometimes actually listened to by officers of the court, occasionally even with a straight face!

When asked by a lawyer if such a thing as described above is “possible,” I respond by saying, “Do you mean ‘possible’ in a practical sense, or ‘possible’ in an astronomical sense?” Usually, they withdraw the question!

All reputable pistols sold in this Country are mechanically “drop-safe.” When they discharge “spontaneously,” it is invariably because duffus had his finger on the trigger at an inappropriate time (just as pregnancies are caused when pants are unzipped at inappropriate times). Without fail!

When you hear, to the contrary, about an “immaculate discharge,” never believe it!

Men of honor live in an “excuse-free zone,” as my friend and esteemed colleague, Buz Mills (CEO at Gunsite), is fond of phrasing it:

“Excuse-free Zone: None offered! None accepted!”

Amen, amen!