27 Aug 98, Thursday, 8:42AM

From friends in South Africa:

Two American tourists were hi-jacked in Johannesburg yesterday, probably by Nigerian bandits. The man and his wife were ordered out of their rented BMW. The man apparently asked the bandits not to shoot him or his wife, as they are Americans. On hearing that their prey were American tourists, the hi-jackers, in a very friendly and understanding way, shot him in the face. He died at the scene. Then they got into the vehicle and drove off with the woman. No word on her fate.

Lessons :

>Don’t drive flashy cars in South Africa

>Hi-jackers will shoot ANYBODY.

>Keep a low profile, and be always aware of your surroundings. Leave the area immediately if things look suspicious.

>Be always heavily armed and perpetually ready to fight for your life at a moment’s notice, then and there.

Politicians do not deserve our respect!

Representative Tim Moore sponsored a resolution in the Texas House calling on the
House to officially commend one Albert de Salvo for his unselfish service to his state, his country, and his community.” The resolution noted that, “this compassionate gentleman’s dedication and devotion to his work has enabled the weak and lonely throughout the Nation to achieve and maintain a new degree of concern for their future. He has been officially recognized by the state of Massachusetts for his noted activities and unconventional techniques involving population control and applied psychology.”

After the resolution passed UNANIMOUSLY, Representative Moore admonished his colleagues for routinely and casually voting for things they had (obviously) neither read nor understood.

Albert de Salvo was the Boston Strangler.